Have you ever looked at a friend and wondered, “How can she eat all that and stay so slim, while I feel like I barely eat anything and still can’t lose weight?”
A client asked me this during a weight loss consultation. She had tried so many different approaches, from various diets to weight loss medication, yet she was still struggling. Understandably, she felt frustrated and wondered what she was doing wrong.
So, we started to explore why weight loss can feel so much harder for some people than others.
The truth is, it’s not always as simple as calories in versus calories out.
Our bodies are constantly adapting, and biology plays a bigger role in weight management than many people realise. As you lose weight, your resting metabolic rate typically decreases, meaning your body burns fewer calories than before. Hunger signals can also increase, making you feel hungrier and potentially making it harder to maintain your progress.
These are natural biological responses, not signs that you lack discipline or aren't trying hard enough.
Weight loss can also slow down or reach a plateau, even when you're continuing with the same habits. Day-to-day weight fluctuations are normal, too, and can be influenced by factors such as fluid retention, hormones and digestion. This is why I encourage my clients to look beyond the scales and recognise other signs of progress.
Then there are the wider influences on our weight, including sleep, stress, hormonal changes, underlying health conditions, genetics and different life stages. Our food environment matters, too, particularly when convenient, highly palatable ultra-processed foods are so readily available.
Of course, overall energy intake still matters. But weight management involves much more than simply eating less and exercising more. Understanding these influences can help us approach weight loss with greater compassion, realistic expectations and a lot less self-blame.
So, where do we start?
Rather than focusing solely on how much you eat, it’s worth looking at what you eat and how your food choices affect hunger, fullness and overall nutrition.
Not all foods affect us in the same way. For example, 100 calories of avocado provides fibre and predominantly unsaturated fats, whereas 100 calories of a Mars bar provides a different balance of nutrients. Although the energy content is the same, the foods differ in their nutritional value and how they may contribute to fullness.
This is where food quality comes into the picture.
Ultra-processed foods are often designed to be highly palatable and convenient, which can make them easy to eat quickly and in larger quantities. Research suggests that diets high in certain ultra-processed foods can encourage greater energy intake. By contrast, meals containing protein, fibre-rich foods and minimally processed ingredients can help support fullness and make it easier to manage your appetite.
This doesn't mean you need to avoid your favourite foods or follow a perfectly clean diet. It's about finding a balance that supports your health, helps you feel satisfied and fits into your everyday life.
Looking at the bigger picture
When I work with clients, I look beyond the number on the scales and their calorie intake to understand the factors that may be affecting their progress. We explore eating habits, food choices, hunger and fullness, sleep, stress and other relevant aspects of their lifestyle and health.
From there, we develop a realistic, sustainable approach that works with their body, rather than against it.
Struggling with your weight doesn't mean you've failed. Your body is influenced by a complex mix of biological, behavioural and environmental factors, which is why lasting change often requires more than another restrictive diet.
The most effective approach isn't necessarily the strictest one. It's the one you can sustain over weeks, months and beyond.
You don't necessarily need to try harder. You may simply need a different approach — one that understands your body, supports your health and works for your life.
Sustainable weight management is about understanding the whole person, not just the numbers.